Issue #20: The Spring Stack
We're making love to life.
The Rebelle Ritual – Issue #20
First off — thank you.
Seriously.
Every time you open one of these, take time to read my words, feel into them, and let them land — it means the world to me. In this fast, scroll-til-you-forget-why-you-opened-your-phone world, your attention is sacred. I don’t take that lightly.
I hope this newsletter feels like your first sip of coffee in the morning. Warm, grounding, slightly rebellious, and just what you needed.
So — Happy May, babe.
How TF are we in the fifth month of 2025?
Time is doing the absolute most lately.
But instead of racing to keep up, I’m slowing down.
No more chasing. No more trying to do it all.
This month, I’m calling in presence.
Coming back to myself — again and again.
Not because I’m lost, but because life has layers.
Old patterns still try to sneak in the back door (hello again, abandonment wound, fear of not being enough, and overfunctioning). But I’m learning to love myself here, in this version of me too — the one who’s still healing.
Because healing isn’t about being done.
It’s about returning.
It’s about not letting the mess take you out.
It’s walking through it anyway, choosing to live fully, love deeply, and give a damn about your own life even when it’s hard.
This week’s issue is all about The Spring Stack — how we build our month with intention, not urgency. It’s a ritual of planning with soul. Tuning in to your mood board, mapping your desires, and setting the tone based on what actually matters.
No more gaslighting yourself with hustle.
No more bypassing your needs with productivity.
Let’s stack this season with presence, softness, and power.
Let’s go.
— A 🐆
May 2025 Playlist
Loving on Ourselves 🌷🤍✨
A Note from Amber 💌
Let’s be real — I’ve been running a pattern.
Not just recently… my whole fcking life*.
The “not enough” pattern.
It’s the script that’s been quietly (and sometimes loudly) directing everything:
With lovers — I want more because what’s here… doesn’t feel like enough.
With money — I want more because it never feels safe to just have.
With myself — I question if my own desires are too much or if I’m not enough to actually have them.
And that story?
It’s exhausted.
I’m exhausted.
But I’m not bypassing it this time.
No pretending it’s fine.
No spiritual mantras slapped over deep-rooted wounds.
No pretending abundance while secretly spiraling in the background.
This month, I’m choosing to sit with it.
To hold it like a wounded part of me.
To love the version of myself who had to believe that she wasn’t enough in order to survive.
And then — to let it the fuck go.
Because I’m ready to be in my enough era.
To feel supported without over-giving.
To feel sexy and safe without constant reassurance.
To feel magical in the mundane.
To not chase love, money, or validation like I’m missing out on something.
May is here. And I’m setting intentions that feel like devotion.
Not another list of goals.
Not another “make it happen” month.
But a feel it fully, trust it deeply, move with presence kind of month.
Loving myself first.
Spicing up my own damn life.
Romanticizing my reality — solo or partnered.
Being the main character without needing the perfect plot.
Let this be your permission slip too.
— A 🐆
» Rebelle Reality Check ✔️
You can do all the journaling, all the vision boards, all the full moon rituals…
But if deep down you’re still running the story that you’re not enough —
not worthy of the love you crave,
not safe with money,
not allowed to want more —
then you’re building a palace on a fault line.
This month, I caught myself in the loop.
Same patterns, different disguise.
✨ Craving more from a lover who’s giving breadcrumbs.
✨ Telling myself I’ll feel secure when I hit “X” in my bank account.
✨ Feeling magical one minute, then doubting my entire life the next.
Let’s be clear — this isn’t a breakdown.
It’s an initiation.
So here’s the truth bomb:
No one’s coming to fix it.
No one’s handing you a new story.
You have to reclaim it. Rewrite it.
Choose, every damn day, to live from your enoughness.
That’s the real work. That’s the revolution.
And it starts right here —
with your desires, your devotion, your decisions.
Welcome to your enough era.
You in?
» The Ritual Rundown
This month isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about finally fcking honoring* yourself.
So here’s what I’m weaving into my May — the rituals that bring me back to me, every damn time.
✨ Mirror Work
Eye contact with your soul.
No filters. No faking. Just you, reminding yourself that you are it.
✨ Self-Love as a Daily Devotion
Not bath bombs and bullshit (unless that’s your thing).
Self-love like: feeding yourself well, saying no, protecting your peace, and actually resting.
✨ Slow Movement
Not because you’re lazy — because your nervous system is asking for gentleness.
Stretch. Walk. Breathe. Flow like honey.
✨ Body Love
Touch your skin like you’re grateful to live here.
Dance naked. Oil your legs. Wear what makes you feel alive.
✨ Journaling the Real Shit
Not “dear diary,” but “here’s what’s rising in me and what I’m f*cking done tolerating.”
Write to witness yourself — not to fix.
✨ Taking Space from Self-Abandonment
No more shrinking.
No more pretending you don’t have needs.
This month, you come home to yourself.
» Feature Ritual Dissent Column
💫 May Intentions
This month is about working less and living more.
4 work days. 3 days off. That’s the vibe.
💦 Upping my water because hydration is the baseline of every glow-up.
🍦 Ice cream + beach lunch dates are medicine.
🏋️♀️ Moving my body 3x a week — strong, steady, no extremes.
📚 Reading books. Resting deeply. No guilt attached.
🍳 Cooking meals that feel like love for me and my family.
💐 Buying myself flowers because I fucking deserve beauty.
🕯️ Enjoying the cozy home I’ve built and letting it hold me.
This isn’t just about “monthly goals.”
This is about choosing a whole fcking mood* for your life — one that feels like truth, not performance.
I’m not mapping May to grind harder or “be better.”
I’m mapping May to come back home to myself.
This board is a visual spell.
A declaration of what I’m allowing, receiving, and embodying.
Not because I need to “do more,”
But because I’ve done enough pretending I’m not already whole.
Let this be your permission slip —
✨ To rest more and prove less
✨ To unravel the patterns you’ve been carrying for decades
✨ To move slow, feel deep, and still be powerful as hell
✨ To romanticize the hell out of your life — solo, messy, and sacred
This season isn’t asking you to hustle.
It’s asking you to live.
You don’t need a 90-day plan to be worthy.
You don’t need a 10-step habit tracker to be valid.
You don’t need to pretend you’re okay when you’re healing.
You just need to feel your life.
Like, actually feel it.
So if your May “plan” is to cry in the bathtub, say no more often, take yourself on ice cream dates, re-read a favorite book, and do some mirror work naked while blasting Sade — that counts.
That counts as a whole new way of being.
This is your reminder:
You don’t need to do more.
You just need to be here.
May is yours, babe.
Make it feel like devotion.
» For the Love of Money
Dealing with the Never Enough Pattern
Let’s talk about it —
That sneaky-ass scarcity loop.
The one that whispers:
“You need more. You’re behind. You’re not doing enough. You’ll never catch up.”
Yeah. That one.
I’ve been sitting with it lately — not bypassing it, not fixing it, not numbing it with spreadsheets or manifestation mantras.
Just feeling it.
In my bones. In my breath. In my bank account.
Because even when the money comes in…
If the nervous system isn’t on board?
If the subconscious still believes there’s never enough?
It won’t matter.
You’ll sabotage it.
You’ll spend it.
You’ll avoid looking at it.
You’ll convince yourself you need more to finally feel safe.
But here’s the real rebellion:
I’m choosing to feel safe now.
Not when the credit card is paid off.
Not when the savings account is full.
Now.
I’m learning to say:
I have what I need.
I’m trusting the flow.
I’m breaking up with urgency.
I’m letting my nervous system hold wealth — not just my bank account.
Because for the love of money,
I want to stop surviving it
And start receiving it.
This is the work.
This is the liberation.
Not in spreadsheets. Not in sacrifice.
In the somatics. In the stillness. In the story you choose to believe.
Your worth has never been up for debate.
Not by money. Not by the world. Not even by you.
» Quick Hits
🖋️ Journal Prompts
What’s my earliest memory of feeling like I didn’t have enough?
When do I feel most unsafe with money? What’s the story underneath that fear?
What would it feel like to trust that I’ll always have enough — even when things are uncertain?
What does wealth feel like in my body, beyond the dollar signs?
If I believed I was enough, how would I treat my money differently?
📚 Book to Read:
“The Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist
A sacred, radical take on shifting from scarcity to sufficiency.
This isn’t about how to make more — it’s about how to relate to what you have.
✨ Somatic Practice: Holding Enoughness
Sit or lay down somewhere safe + quiet.
Let your body fully land.Breathe deep into your belly.
Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 6.
Repeat for 2 minutes.Say out loud:
“I have enough right now.
I am enough right now.
I don’t need to rush. I don’t need to prove.
My worth is not a number.”
(Repeat until your body starts to soften.)Place one hand on your heart, the other on your womb or low belly.
Imagine warm, golden light radiating between your hands.
This is your currency.
Let your body feel what it’s like to be safe, held, and abundant — without doing anything extra.
» Glow-Up Goal
Create your own May Mood Board
But make it real.
Not just aesthetic.
Not just what looks good online.
But what actually feels like you.
Peel back the pressure to “do more.”
Detach from the goals you think you should have.
And ask yourself:
🌀 What would this month look like if I slowed the hell down?
🌀 What would it feel like to actually live inside my life instead of managing it?
This month will fly.
Don’t rush it.
Romanticize it.
Let your mood board be a permission slip, not a performance.
✨ Less hustle. More holy.
✨ Less grind. More glow.
✨ Less proving. More presence.
» The Black List: This Week’s Non-Negotiables 🖤
This Week’s Black List:
🗡 Doing the most just to feel “enough”
🗡 Hustle culture disguised as “alignment”
🗡 Breadcrumb love — romantically, financially, energetically
🗡 Guilt for choosing rest over productivity
🗡 Attachment to goals that don’t even turn you on
🗡 Shrinking yourself to stay palatable
🗡 Bypassing your own needs in the name of “gratitude”
🗡 Wearing busyness like a badge of honor
🗡 Letting scarcity live rent-free in your nervous system
What are you cutting out this week?
🖤 Consider it BLACKLISTED. 🖤
» The Final Word
You don’t need to prove anything this month.
You don’t need to chase some curated version of success.
You don’t need to hold it all together just to feel worthy.
Let May be the month you stop performing.
Stop pretending.
Stop rushing past your own f*cking life.
Feel it.
Slow it down.
Let your body lead.
Let your joy matter.
Let your rest be sacred.
Romanticize the shit out of your soft, slow, nourishing life.
Not because it’s trendy.
But because you deserve it.
This season isn’t asking for more.
It’s asking for you.
So give yourself back to yourself.
And live like it’s holy.
Because it is.
Because you are.
P.S. If this stirred something in you, don’t keep it to yourself.
Share it with a woman who’s ready to rise, soften, and remember her power.
The Rebelle Ritual is more than a newsletter—it’s a revolution. 🐆🖤
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